His Hope Uganda

Feb. 14, 2011

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and that you are so far enjoying the new year. I was blessed to be able to enjoy four and a half weeks in cold Canada with my family and friends. I’m confident that I ate enough to keep me going in Uganda for a few months.

In some ways, going back to Canada gets easier every time but in other ways, it gets more difficult. I’m glad that the culture shock has worn off and I no longer feel the desire to cry when I walk into Safeway. On the other hand, it is hard to step back into a world that I used to know so well, only to be reminded that I no longer really fit in. It has been a slow transition and one that I’ve tried to ignore or excuse the past few visits back, but it was a reality that really hit me this last trip.

Sometimes I struggle with knowing that life in Canada is going on without me, especially now that a lot of my friends have had kids and I know that I’m missing out on that. Every time I go back to Canada I feel more and more out of place. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I spend all my time in Uganda with Ugandans and that most of my closest friends here are under the age of 16. When I go back to Canada, the thought of having real English conversations with white people kinda scares me.

Life is just so different here. Sometimes I feel like I’m a different person in Canada than I am here in Uganda. It gets a little confusing. I only hope that I haven’t hurt anyone and that people can understand (even if I don’t).

At the beginning of January, we had our first official HHU fundraiser, which was exciting but nerve racking all at the same time. It was a silent auction which was well planned (not by me) and which my parents and many others put a lot of hours of hard work into. The support we received from businesses in our small community of Cranbrook was overwhelming and so encouraging.

The evening, which was a combination of stories, pictures, videos, and music by the incredibly gifted Kate Seabrook was a great success. We were able to raise enough money to cover all of our organizational expenses for the year, including rent, salaries, food, bills, and transportation. We were also able to find sponsors for our remaining children, which was a huge answer to prayer. God continues to provide and we are so so thankful. I want to say a very big thank you to everyone who attended and especially to all of you who helped out. We couldn’t have done it without you.

I got back to Uganda in the middle of the busiest time of the year - back to school season. The new school year began on the 31^st of January despite my hopes that it would never really begin (yes, I would rather have dull uneducated children who are around home than bright intelligent children who are at school all the time). I don’t know how, but somehow we managed to survive and most of our children showed up for school on the first day with all they needed and school fees paid in full. The end of January and first week of February were a blur and I was working from seven in the morning until nine at night most days. I was even too busy to watch my Mexican soap opera “Hidden Passion”, which says a lot.

Although stressful at times, the beginning of the school year can be fun. This year we took fourteen loads of children and teenagers to town in our trusty vehicle to buy shoes in the market, taking up to fourteen kids a trip. It isn’t an easy task, especially the loads that have picky teenage girls, but it is simple compared to our first system two years ago. It involved us tracing every child’s foot on a piece of paper and then purchasing all the shoes at the local Bata store, hand delivering them to each child, and then making another five trips to Bata to exchange all the shoes that didn’t fit.

Each year gets easier because we figure out which methods work and which ones don’t. It’s all a learning process. But each year also gets busier and much more expensive because we have more children to buy for and because of increasing costs.

I was shocked this year to find out that school fees at six out of the nine schools that we worked with last year had increased, some by as much as 30%. And fees are not the only thing rising in cost. In the past couple of months the costs of food and fuel have jumped. School supplies like books and pencils have gone up in price and the cost of soap, what I consider every Ugandan’s most treasured item, has gone up by 50%. It seems the only thing that hasn’t gone up is the amount of money that most Ugandans make, which is still near nothing.

The number of children that I see who are not in school every day is easily three times more than I saw last year.

As Ugandans continue to struggle, I have become more aware of two things.

First, my respect for Ugandans is at an all time high. We as North Americans are so quick to complain about inflation despite the fact that most of us are guaranteed at least one raise a year, not to mention bonuses and other perks. And despite the fact that most of us don’t struggle to feed our families every day. I honestly don’t know how Ugandans survive sometimes. But I know that they understand and appreciate a lot more than I ever will.

I’ve also become so much more thankful for what we are doing here. It will never be enough but it is something and as the need in Uganda rises, our role here becomes more important. Thank you for supporting us and sharing in that role.

People have generously donated enough money for us to continue blessing families with houses and toilets and at this point we are ready to do four more houses and eight more toilets. Praise God and thank you so much.

To be honest, the excitement of the house building program had worn off a little for me because there are not very many families remaining in our program who need new homes. Because of this, we have decided to start looking for families outside of our program who need new houses. Yesterday Uncle Eman and I went out in search of such families.

We found too many. We found a woman who lives with her six children in a brick house which has no door and is only halfway complete. Her toilet is literally a hole in the ground no more than two feet deep. We also found a very elderly woman who is living in a mudless mud house, which means she’s basically living in the remains of a home that is now only a stick structure with half of a roof. When it rains, it rains on her. It seemed like everywhere we looked we saw houses that needed to be replaced. Many of them were places that we’ve passed a hundred times before. The need has always been there but because I didn’t know the possibility of helping existed, they were just passed by. My eyes have been opened now that the possibility is there. And I’m excited.

Many of you heard that I was in an accident a couple of weeks ago. I still can’t figure out what actually happened but I can tell you the story from my point of view. Basically, I can divide the story into three categories – What I THINK Happened, What I KNOW Happened, and What I Really Wish HADN’T Happened. Here goes.

Okay, let me set the scene. I was in Kampala a couple of weeks ago picking up our new NGO certificate. The plan was to pick up the certificate and then go directly to the Visa office and put in my application for a Work Permit. The office is usually very busy and you have to wait outside where they have plastic chairs and a plastic tent set up. The waiting area is next to a parking lot.

I was sitting in a chair and impatiently waiting for someone to help me. There were several other people in the tent but nobody was near me because I was sitting in the sun (or maybe I smelled funny, I don’t know but that’s not really the point). This is the “What I Know” part. There was a van parked behind the tent. A young guy who didn’t know how to drive got into the van and the next thing I know I’m on the ground under the van being pushed on the gravel. I don’t remember getting hit but I remember the shock of being pushed under a vehicle. The first thought that went through my head was “This can’t be happening, I must be dreaming” and the second thought that went through my head was “I can’t believe I’m going to die like this”. Then the van stopped.

After realizing I was still alive, I felt the van starting to move forward again. This is the “What I Wish Hadn’t Happened” part. In a panic, I started screaming at people because I thought maybe they didn’t know I was stuck under the vehicle. I don’t regret the screaming part. I only regret what I screamed. Instead of screaming something logical or mature like “HELP” I heard myself screaming “MAMA, MAMA!” (in my Ugandan accent). Talk about embarrassing.

But it worked. Suddenly there were a bunch of people there pushing the vehicle off of me. The next thing I remember is the van being gone and a bunch of people surrounding me telling me not to stand up. Then I stood up and a woman starting praying healing over me in Jesus name. That’s what I remember clearly.

I also remember that the third thought that went through my head, after “Thank you Jesus” and after I knew that I was okay and realized that I had to see a doctor, was “I’m so glad I shaved my legs on Saturday”. Pretty sad, isn’t it?

What I THINK happened is this. I think the van hit me from behind, knocking me to the ground. I think the driver had enough sense to hit the brakes and he pushed me about three meters. I saw the chair I had been sitting in after the accident and it was destroyed. I think that after the chair broke, the only thing between me and the tire was my bag, which was on the right side of my body, the side that I was sliding on. I had a book in my bag that got destroyed and part of my glucometer got crushed but other than that everything in my bag was fine.

So much is fuzzy but one thing I know without a doubt is that I wasn’t alone. Every time I think of what happened, I know that God had His hand on me and even more than that. When I got up and for a few hours after, I was worried that the van had actually run me over. It is impossible to explain what I was feeling while I was under the vehicle but I believe that someone, like an angel, was with me, protecting me. My head never touched the ground. I walked away, WALKED away, with only some scrapes and bruises.

Every person who witnessed the accident said that I should have been killed, or at least seriously harmed. They called it a miracle. I say amen to that.

I am not a person who is worthy of angels protecting me. I am not a person by any means who deserved to be saved from serious harm. I am a person touched by His grace and His protection, not because I deserve to be but because He loves me. I am a child of God. And I am a person who is covered and protected by your prayers. And I can’t tell you how thankful I am for that.

I had been praying two specific things before I went to Kampala that day. The first was for continued favour with the board. After I got hit, I had every person from the NGO office basically attending to my every need. The secretary recognized me and when she heard that I was applying for my Work Permit she signed her approval without me asking, a signature that can take weeks or months to get. We got our certificate in seconds. I could not ask for more favour with the board than what I have now. I used to be “The Girl Who Was Falsely Accused of Child Trafficking”. Now I’m “The Girl Who Was Falsely Accused of Child Trafficking Who Got Hit by a Van While Waiting in the Tent”. Thank you Lord.

The second prayer request was in regards to my passport. I had planned to hand in my passport to get my Work Permit but I didn’t have complete peace about not having my passport during the national elections coming up. I prayed that if I wasn’t supposed to submit my passport before elections, that God would prevent me from doing so.

Oh, how God answers prayer.

An experience like mine really wakes you up. It was only a few seconds, but that was all it took for God to speak to me.

- Kimi, remember you are not in control or your life. I am God. Fear Me. Trust Me. Live for Me.

- Kimi, this world is not your home. One day you will leave it all behind and you will come home. Are you ready?

- Kimi, let go of the things you are hanging onto. Your bitterness and your pride and what you think are your rights. Life is to short.

I don’t think I’ve been given a second chance at life. I’m still living my one and only chance. I’m trying to appreciate it more and I did for a few days but to be honest, the wake up call didn’t last more than a few days. It only took a few days for me to sink back into my old sins and my old habits and for me to realize that I need a wake up call every day. Even though we all know we won’t live forever, most of us live like we will. We always hear that we should live life like it is our last day on earth but to actually do that seems almost impossible.

And so, while I have the chance, let me tell you what I would want to tell you if I knew I wouldn’t be around to tell you next time.

First, I would want to say thank you again from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for reading my emails and for supporting this amazing work. I would say that I feel like the most blessed person on the planet. Words can’t explain how much I love what I do and where I do it. God has given me a heart for this country and these people that feels ready to burst most days because I am so overwhelmed by all of it. Getting to know these kids has been the best experience I’ve ever had. Being able to love them and show them God’s love is beyond amazing. Thank you for giving me the chance to do that.

Second, and most importantly, I don’t know who you are or where you are at in life but God loves you. He loves you more than you can imagine. He doesn’t want you to live life without Him because He wants you to have peace and joy and hope. Jesus changed my life. I have peace and joy and hope not only in this life, but also in knowing that when I die, whether it be today or tomorrow or fifty years from now, my life with Him will only be beginning. That is an invitation open to everyone.

That is what I would want to say.

And also, I love all of you and you’ve all blessed my life.

I don’t know if you remember an email a while back about a girl in our program named Shamim. We were having problems with her last year and were considering removing her from the program. She is only about nine years old but she had be stealing from her mother and lying for a long time. Her mother had tried doctors and all sorts of things but had basically given up hope that Shamim would ever change. We prayed over her and I asked you to pray as well.

The Shamim we know now and the Shamim we knew six months ago are two drastically different people. We have noticed. Her teachers have noticed. Her neighbours have noticed. And her Muslim mother has noticed. She came her last week to thank us for praying for her daughter. She knows our prayers, our God, has changed her daughter. Please keep praying for Shamim and her mother.

Simon, our favourite football playing broken femur boy started school last Friday. PRAISE GOD. He had his pins removed last week and the X-Ray shows complete healing. However, he is still walking with one crutch and he has to go back for a check up next week. I am not a doctor but I don’t understand that. Anyway, thank you for praying for Simon and please continue to pray for complete healing and that he’ll be able to play football again one day because we know he wants to.

I don’t know if I made it clear enough before but thank you for praying for healing for me. I am mostly healed apart from some stubborn bruises on my thigh and knee. My scrapes and cuts have healed well except for the ones that I keep picking (I have no will power). But asking you to pray for that would be like asking you to pray for my zit – too awkward. So let’s just say I’m healed.

Please pray for Uganda. National elections are on Friday and there is always the possibility of something going wrong. Please pray against corruption and that the right person would be voted in. Also pray for peace and protection.

We now have 107 children in our program because we added six last week. I want to add to that number but we still need to find sponsors for the six new children. Please pray for the right sponsors at the right time. Also pray for guidance for us as we continue our work here. Pray that we don’t take on more than God wants us to.

Pray for protection for our staff and the families that we work with. We’ve had a lot of sick children lately. Thank you for your prayers for Auntie Christine, who was very sick with malaria a couple of weeks ago but is now doing well.

Pray for rain, dry season is way too dry. Crops need rain.

I have been struggling a lot lately with letting go of all of this and giving it completely to God. Although I’ve always known that this ministry is His and that I can’t take any of the credit for what He’s done here, there have been some things that have come up lately that have really challenged me to think about what I really think. This organization is growing faster than I ever expected, which is awesome. But part of me wants to hang on to what it is right now. It’s hard to accept that there might be changes this year, even though I know those changes will bless the ministry. Basically, I’m being selfish. Please pray that God would keep me humble and that we continue to move in His will and for His glory.

We are very excited to be planning our first Missions trip in October or November of this year. If you are interested in coming for about two weeks (which you should be!), please let me or my parents know. Please pray that everything goes well and that God brings the right people here (that would be all of you).

Thank you again for everything. God bless you all as you go through the week.

Much love,

Kimi